Prompt 1

I'd write about my maternal line, how it relates to me, society. I'd write music, I'd write poetry. I'd write about addiction mostly. How we love those who previously used (heroes, brave, strong) and hate those currently using as if it isn't heroic, brave, and strong to simply exist and do what's needed to continue finding the will to live, survive, and experience pleasure as a dire life affirming drive to remain as a corporeal object. I'd write about sex and my confusion around it. My shame around not wanting it and how much I want to want to want it. How it feels like it would save me. How I feel cheated out of a fundamental human experience. How I feel disconnected from humanity itself. I wonder if I had the gift of sexual desire if I'd be delivered from my endless search for that life affirming pleasure. I wonder about the relief I'd feel if part of my social role as a romantic partner didn't include sex and how I secretly hope that by being released from that expectation might then make me desire it but afraid to admit it likely wouldn't.