BPS.1
I walk outside everyday, at least for 30 minutes, oftentimes more. I feel fulfilled and connected to nature. I am surrounded by green, beautiful flowers, creatures, and I breathe in air that tastes and smells fresh/rejuvenating. Ideas come to me that excite me, little writing blurbs, etc. It is a fundamental part of my day and self-care practice. It feels as natural to me as taking a nap does now. I explore Portland and find hidden spots that become a sanctuary to me. Walking becomes a healing practice that I can use whenever cravings, feelings of worthlessness, exhaustion, burnout, fear, anxiety, depression, apathy, and/or desire for self sabotage/harm comes up - it is effective and I feel like I have a healthy amount of control over my emotions. I love my body and feel confident and strong - I notice myself losing weight but I'm happy because it's a cue of my health improving, not purely vanity purposes. I see different birds and log them, I take pictures of things I find interesting - these walks become a wellspring for my inner world. I read and identify with famous people in the past who talked about the benefits of walking. I crave it and I never feel alone because I know nature is just outside the door, ready to spend time with me. I smell so many beautiful things - I take myself to get food and am responsible with my money because the main enjoyment comes from the walk/journey to get food, not spending the money on the food. I start to want sex more because I feel in my body; my body and its actions are no longer separate from my mind/they are harmonious and merge into one, fully embodied. Sometimes I sit by the water by the Tilikum bridge and smell the breeze and water, crisp air. Sometimes I take off my shoes and push my feet, toes, heels, into the lush, soft, cold grass. I touch trees, flowers, and walls as I walk by them. I feel like I am a part of Portland - that we are friends. I share myself with the city as it shares itself with me. I look at the sky when the moon is bright, or the stars are, or if the sky is pitch black. I always feel safe and I am.